Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you make a good broom.

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  (919): Apparently you make a good broom. http://tfl.nu/3otj
  Replies (8) Good night (617) Bad night (790)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

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  (804): please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash. http://tfl.nu/od6g
  Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (2986)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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  (843): just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style. http://tfl.nu/ygfi
  Replies (8) Good night (1299) Bad night (3025)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.

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  (252): He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/eaqz
  Replies (58) Good night (2239) Bad night (6188)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

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  (780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah. http://tfl.nu/5le1
  Replies (10) Good night (1130) Bad night (4250)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1409) Bad night (3858)
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  (646): View more from New York

  it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there

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  (646): it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there http://tfl.nu/bxrn
  Replies (6) Good night (5135) Bad night (1225)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll

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  (304): when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll http://tfl.nu/utzt
  Replies (9) Good night (3017) Bad night (1024)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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  (806): I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza http://tfl.nu/jih1
  Replies (3) Good night (1453) Bad night (738)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"

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  (215): I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory... (1-215): just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!" http://tfl.nu/238t
  Replies (10) Good night (2358) Bad night (527)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.

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  (615): I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me. http://tfl.nu/vysn
  Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (928)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel strange, like something is off with my body

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

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  (604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p
  Replies (3) Good night (1597) Bad night (502)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?

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  (585): Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/z6wh
  Replies (13) Good night (1322) Bad night (610)
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  (650): View more from California

  i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era

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  (650): i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era http://tfl.nu/hvky
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (267)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

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  (414): Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie" http://tfl.nu/mcag
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (234)

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