We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid