I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.