check it out our google latitudes are spooning
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"