Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking