Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize