Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
