I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
