Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
