I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
