I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize