Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
