When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
