i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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