You're my little dorito
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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