It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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