i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
