You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
