you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
