girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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