The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
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Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
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hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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