If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
