Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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