hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize