not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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