She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
