I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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