Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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