if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
