apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
