hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
