I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
