just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
