How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
