Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
