I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
