Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
