So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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