Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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