MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
