So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
