We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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