Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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