....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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