Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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