You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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