also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize