if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
