and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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