I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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