when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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