every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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