What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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