Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Randomize
