I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
