I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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