Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
