First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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