im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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