Your tits are I can't wait for
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
