There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
