I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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